Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
