dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
