If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
