I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
