addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
