you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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