I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
they need to just BURY HIM!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
