You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
