i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
