bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
