Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
