My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
