Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just tell him i said nine months
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
