I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize