On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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