Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
