He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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