Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
