if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
