this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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