There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
