planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
