I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
