I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize