giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
