I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
