Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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