whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My first STD was from a foam party
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
