Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
