I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Randomize
