i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
