I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
