you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
