party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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