Swine flu. Run for my life!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
