it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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