spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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