Sponge bath it is.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
