I'm really into asian looking animals
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
