yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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