i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
