No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
