I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize