careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
