What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
