i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
