im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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