is wine microwaveable?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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