omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
