The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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