He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
