Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
They have beer where we have blood.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
