you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
