so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
