...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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