ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
