there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
