She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
