My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
