Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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